Hi, I’m Kristin.
I hope that my testimony can inspire you to live as God commands.
I grew up in a Christian home and knew from an early age that God was who He says he was. There was never any question and I believed that he was my God.
My parents did as well and we were the typical family at that time that went to church twice on Sunday and on Wednesdays.
I loved God with all my heart and was baptized at the age of 9. So pretty young still to know and fully understand the extent of God’s love, but I wanted him in my life forever. I loved singing him songs of praise and learning of the wonder of his creation. But as I grew up, it became harder to continue.
I struggled a lot growing up with anxiety and anger issues. We moved a lot and I was always the new person and felt like I was never a part of anything. I always knew God and prayed and loved Him, but I started to hold onto this anger and fear of things greater than I held onto Him.
This lead to an ever increasing feeling of not being good enough and searching for things that would make me feel happy and that I was good enough.
Despite God telling me I was His and everything he created me to be, I kept searching for things of the world to make me happy.
Eventually, I wasn’t even sure that happiness, that feeling alone was something I could ever regain. I wished I could go back to the innocence of my youth, but even then it was tainted by anger I had held onto.
Teenage years were terrible as we moved in the middle of my high school years. I kept going to church and praying to be happy, but was selfish in my desires and started to fall away from reading the Bible and praying. I searched harder for acceptance in the world when in reality God had already accepted me, I was just blind to it and refused to see it.
A hard stop in my life was when my boyfriend died while I was in high school. I couldn’t understand why God would allow something that tragic to happen to me. I thought he wanted me to be happy. I couldn’t see at the time, the lesson he was trying to teach me–to run to him. But instead I chose to pull away, to not listen to his soft knocking and try to do everything in my own power to make myself happy.
I got married and very quickly had a child during college. I thought for sure this was the answer to everything and I would certainly be happy. We both were Christians and went to church but we both were not putting God before everything else and happiness was still looming far in the distance.
When my marriage was at a breaking point, when I thought that God would not allow something else horrible in my life to happen—it did.
My husband cheated on me and we went through a process up to the point of almost divorce. We separated and it was in this time that God did his best work in me.
I ran to him with the open arms as I should have done long before, and he showed me the path to Him. He showed me once again how much he loved me and wanted me to be all that I was crated for and that this experience would be something that I could share with the world to show how His Glory alone can mend a hard heart and restore a broken love.
By God’s power alone I was saved again. If it weren’t for Him, my husband and I wouldn’t be about to celebrate our 16 year wedding anniversary together with the addition of two more kids after everything. We wouldn’t be able to speak of how much His love for us has changed our paths, our hearts and how I long to show others how to be free of the hurts of the flesh, and find true hope and joy in the Lord.
Still, sometimes I struggle in feeling good enough, or worthy, but in my Bible studies, I am reminded that God has “redeemed me and called me by name. I am His.”-Isaiah 43:1.
I created a blog, Life From These Ashes, because I wanted to share everything I’ve learned through my experiences with grief, marriage, anxiety and hope in God. I want others to know the redeeming Grace of God and be given Freedom in Him. I want to help guide and encourage your walk with God. Please join me.
With all my love,