Hi, I’m Tiffany, aka Lavender Vines as I am known online. I am excited to share my testimony with you, and I hope that my path and what I have been through helps and inspires your own walk with God.
Let’s just start at the beginning, shall we? I am very fortunate and blessed to have been raised in a Christian home. I grew up going to church and with a family who held their faith close to their hearts. Despite this, I started to really question things around the age of 15 or 16. I desperately wanted to believe in what I had been raised to believe, however I just couldn’t shake this feeling that I needed to dig a little deeper and discover the answer to some of the questions that lingered in the back of my mind. God always moves in beautiful ways, and around this time my school was reading through C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity as part of our religion course.
This book had a huge impact on my faith. I began to see God and Jesus in a new light, and I was able to confidently put my trust in Him. Of course, I continued to have questions (don’t we all?) however, they no longer created stumbling blocks for my faith.
Fast forward about 10 years, and at this point I am in my mid-20’s and am happily married. Something happened to me that shattered everything I knew to be true about myself, my identity, and my life. My husband (who I considered to be my rock) was leaving me, and I later discovered he was leaving me to be with another girl. I don’t think words could ever adequately describe the pain I felt during this time.
I was beyond crushed. I became riddled with panic, anxiety, fear, loneliness, insecurity. I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t know who I was. My entire life and identity was wrapped in “we”, but now it was only “me”. Desires I used to have like shopping, travel, even the pursuit of money had disappeared. I felt like an empty shell. I hardly ate, I couldn’t sleep, and it was a struggle just to get out of bed. No earthly person could comfort me. My family, friends, co-workers were all at a loss of what to do for me.
It was during this time that I ran straight into God’s arms. God provided a comfort that is beyond comprehension. One day during a church service, I was praying and silently crying out to God. It was then that I felt God’s amazing presence, and felt Him say to me, “I see you, I know you’re in pain, and I love you”. I was in complete shock. I couldn’t believe that out of all of the people in this world, God saw me. And He didn’t just see me, He knew I was in pain. And He loved me. I felt God telling me that He was my rock, my true rock that I could always depend on.
I began to read the bible more and more, and it was as if God’s words and promises were flying off the page and God was speaking directly to me. I would read passages like Isaiah 43:2 and it provided me with so much comfort.
“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”Isaiah 43:2
I decided to give my entire life and heart over to God. Keep in mind I was already a believer; however, I was holding back. I knew there were areas I needed to fully surrender. I began to lean in and depend on God more. I sought God’s will in everything I did and kept Him close to my heart.
God began to strengthen my faith and test me in the most amazing ways. Namely I felt God working on my heart regarding my finances and the tithe. I had never tithed before, however, I felt a strong pull that I should start. I began to tithe 10% of my gross income, and it forced me to depend on God for provision, instead of my own. I also felt God stretching me with how I treated others. Specifically, those who did not treat me very well. I felt God teaching and helping me to be kind to them, forgive them, and not be bitter even though that have wronged me.
These lessons are not easy, and they came with a lot of frustration on my part. But honestly, it’s incredible how God uses everything for good. For instance, when I finally started tithing, I felt God’s blessing because by the end of the year I was able to save the most amount of money in one year that I’ve ever saved before. The same goes for people who had wronged me. Despite their efforts to “screw me over”, I still managed to stay on top. I give all of that to God. I promise guys, He knows what He’s doing.
I also felt God calling me to create my blog, Lavender Vines. Lavender Vines is a Christian blog centered around sharing the unfiltered truth of what it is like to follow God. The amazing times of breakthrough and rejoicing in God’s love, but also the struggles of unanswered prayers, unanswered questions, and the times we feel far from God, or like He doesn’t care. My goal is to guide, encourage, and inspire you and your walk with God. I would love it if you followed along.
All my love,
My blog: https://lavendervines.com